Friday, May 21, 2010

What Tha Hell Is BDSM Anyway?


BDSM is mentioned a lot and some dont even know what it means much less what it entails.  BDSM is an acronym for:
Bondage Discipline and SadoMasochism

Bondage Discipline also can be seen as D/s (Dominant/submissive) or Top and Bottom.  


What about Sado Masochism?  Sado Machochism could be something like  a cattle prod touching the skin or it could be a feather touching the skin instead.  Which one occurs depends not on the dominant but on the limits of the submissive. 

BDSM is not sex however it does enhance sexual pleasure when used within reason.  It can be as simple as being covered in whip cream or as complicated as breast  suspension from the ceiling. 

The needs of the submissive should drive the show.  The desire to please the master or mistress is, or should be, matched by the desire of the dominant to please the submissive.  Think of it as trying out a service such as going to a restaurant.   If  the service sucks, you aint comming back.  If the needs of the sub are not met then the D/s relationship is short lived. 

Oddly, the Dominant is often under more stress than the submissive.   The Dominant is the one who must create the scene within the limits of the submissive.  The Dominant is ALWAYS responsible for the safety of the sub phycially and emotionally.   Some submissives can be relatively demanding as to what they want in their scene.....especially the ones who are paying for that scene!!

So BDSM is not spanking the submissive as much as it is giving the submissive what they want. There are times when what the submissive wants is not safe.   In that case the Dominant must say no even when the submissive says YES!

To look at some RL BDSM Toys:
http://evasevilimplements.com/main.html

3 comments:

  1. I knows how hard it can be for the dominant. Sometimes mistress leaves me in charge of my sisters. It's hard enough when I jus' follows what mistress says, but sometimes my sisters want more an' that's when it gets really hard especially when they ask me to do things I don't like doin', but mistress says I got to please them as well as punish 'em.

    ((ooc: I do understand the burden and the amount of work placed on dominants sometimes. This does need to be appreciated, especially the part about keeping an eye on safety limits - so well pointed out and well said))

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  2. I've been in "forced switching" situations, too, like Tami. It sooooo goes against my grain to have to supervise and punish. When I was a first girl, I really tried to "rule" by reward, but there were girls (and a few bratty boys) who always had to be brats.

    I had discussions with their Masters/Mistresses but they often put up with the constant fighting and pushing, and I had the responsibility to oversee their brats, but no authority to really do anything.

    The other day, when Sir ****** requested that I make sure that ***** didn't mouth off in public, grabbing her collar if needed, my stomach just twisted. I saw flashes of that whole nasty experience in front of me, and it was all I could do to sit still and say "yes, Sir."

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